Ten Most Common Mistakes Women Make In Relationships

In the African world, a failed marriage is always attributed to the woman. No one sees the fact that the man has made a mistake. But everyone is quick to blame the woman for lapses in marriages. Therefore, before you say I do, see these 10 most common mistakes women make in relationships.

1. Too many questions about the past: Everyone has a past, although it is good to know some of his past but knowing too much and asking too much in one sitting may initiate misunderstanding especially for a new date or fresh relationships. It is better you allow the needful past to unveil themselves as the relationship grows; you learn more of your man.

2. Visiting his workplace: Why would you pay him a surprise visit at his workplace if it is not going to improve the relationship? As long as that visit shows your lack of trust for him or suspicion then it is not healthy for the relationship.

3. Bringing up marriage: I understand that as relationship grows older over the years the woman is in doubt of her place and will want to know if the relationship will lead to marriage or not since time is always not in their side. But in asking the question of marriage, you must be careful as not to be too desperate. Man hates desperate ladies; they prefer concealing their plans and always want to take their time in order to make the right decision. Asking the man too often about the surety of your marriage makes him feel you are scared of your credibility to be his wife.

4. Pretending to be someone: Men love real ladies who will always be themselves. Learn when to tell your man your principles but first know what he wants so you won’t make him feel you are not compatible with him. Keep your good morale and avoid pretending to him. If he discovers you are double-faced he will never trust you enough to marry you.

5. Comparing financials: What!!! I will never overlook a woman who compares my financials with my friends’. It makes the man feel you will never be satisfied with his efforts as such he will never marry you. If you feel Mr A has better finance than Him, you should as well go to meet Mr A. However, you can compare financials to encourage him and to also make him work harder if you say it rightly.

6. Attempting to mend him: I always tell ladies, if you want a perfect man, take clay and mould him. There is no perfect man anywhere and do not even try to amend the one you see. Never tell him, I want to change you. Nevertheless, the easiest way to change anyone is through your character not with words. When you become that perfect woman, he will also become the perfect man. Jesus said, ‘do to others what you want them to do to you’.

7. Giving too much freedom: Hahaha… Never trust a man to give him 100 percent autonomy mostly when the relationship is growing. He is not a “God”. He has blood running through his veins. Make his friends your friend. Always be with him as much as you can. Create the atmosphere where you can have unlimited access to his phones, laptops etc. But do not attempt doing it with arguments. Gather all your information with love and carefulness. When your man knows you have access to everything, he wouldn't have the option of hiding anything since he knows his freedom is a shared freedom with you.

8. Expecting expression of feelings all the time: Women are naturally structured to be very passionate about everything. They are more moved with what they hear but men are moved by what they see. Yea, I understand that women feel sad most times their men talk to them because they always interpret words into several meanings even when the man isn’t referring otherwise. However, every woman must learn to try to hide their feelings sometimes. Try to see why your man said so or did that. Think before you act instead of you coming back to say I am sorry.

9. Talking negatively: At a point in life, woman act as backbones to men mostly in financial setbacks and bankruptcy. Every man needs someone to encourage him in times of distress. Relationships might not always be rosy.. Women should never speak negatively to their man. Try to show him the hope which he has lost. Pray with him; speak goodly words to him instead of blaming him or reminding him of his past mistakes.

10. Comparing Looks: Why should you feel someone else is more handsome than your man? As long as you are in a relationship with him, he is the most handsome dude on planet earth. Although, you owe a duty in making him look more handsome than you met him, it is more preferable you love him for his looks. Find something about him that is unique and always remind him about that. Tell him how broad his shoulders are, how sexy his eyes looks, how romantic he is on suit, how tall he is etc. Just find something that makes him stand out.

Dating and relationships are the steps to lifetime marriages. It should be handled with care. Any error not rectified during dating might not be rectified forever. And Divorce is NEVER an option for the Christian life. Think about it before you say I do…

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By Matthews Azuka

For : Grooming Empowered Youth